Favorite Reads from 2023

I’ve been meaning to share my favorite reads down 2023, and today is the day that’s finally happening!

These are my favorites, not necessarily the best written ones, or the ones of most value. I decided to just make a list of the ones I enjoyed reading the most!

(These are also not listed in order of favorite, just my top ten of the year!

1. Remarkably Bright Creatures – by Shelby Van Pelt

*****

This was such a quirky read, which is right up my alley! It bounces back and forth from the perspective of Tova Sullivan, a cleaning lady at a aquarium, and Marcellus, a Giant Pacific Octupus in his last days. It’s a mystery novel, about Marcellus trying to convey what he has realized about Tovas son’s disappearance, and was such a interesting novel! I loved it!

2. As You Wish: Inconceivable tales from the Making of The Princess Bride: by Cary Elwes

*****

I grew up watching The Princess Bride over and over, read the book in my teens, and when I saw that Cary Elwes was writing a memoir of his time making the movie, I knew it was something I wanted to read! It was lovely! I listened to the audio book, because he narrated it himself, and he had many fellow cast members narrate their memories as well. It was so fun, full of extra details and such a good book!

3. Things My Son Needs To Know About The World: by Fredrik Blackman

*****

I loved this book so much that I immediately made my husband listen to it on audio! (And he doesn’t enjoy reading books!) This is a collection of essays about becoming a father for the first time, and the things he wants to explain to his newborn son. It was incredibly funny, and parts were SO relatable!

4. Beyond the Wand: the Magic and Mayhem of Growing Up a Wizard: by Tom Felton

*****

I love the Harry Potter books and movies, so this was one I was looking forward right reading. And it ended up being even more interesting than I thought. I especially thought his journey through drug and alcohol addiction, rehab and becoming sober was worth listening too. (It ended on a very positive note, and it was amazing to see his personal growth and perspective through all of that. I read Mathew Perry’s memoir also last year, and it was such a different story with addiction, and a hopelessness that was heartbreaking.)

5. The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides

*****

This was about a criminal psychotherapist’s obsessive attempts to get through to a patient who had murdered her husband, and then never spoke again. I was shocked by the ending, and it was definitely a compelling thriller!

6. Dear Edward:by Ann Napoitano

*****

Twelve-year-old Edward was the sole survivor of a horrific plane crash, and this the story of that accident, and how he found a way to live in the world after your whole world is destroyed. It was heartbreaking, and sweet.

7. How to Stay Married: The Most Insane Love Story Ever Told: by Harrison Scott Key

*****

This was such a interesting memoir, about a family trying to recover after infidelity, and a man sifting through his memories while trying to forgive his wife, and learn to love her again.

8. Search: by Michelle Haneven

****

This was not a typical read for me, but it was so interesting! This about a search committee trying to find a new pastor for their Universal Unitarian church. I don’t think this was the intent of the author at all, but after reading about this church and the way that they believe in everything and anything, and there is so much confusion, no one agrees or believes the same thing, and it made me feel incredibly thankful for my belief system and community, and the relationship that I have with God, and absolutes that that don’t lead to confusion.

9. Drowning: by T.J. Newman

*****

This was another plane accident, over the ocean minutes after flying out of Hawaii. The plane lands on the water, and through a series of events, a number of people end up trapped in the plane underwater, and rescue teams scramble to figure out how to dive and bring the only survivors to the surface. It was a compulsive read, I had to finish it quickly to know how it ended. I think this is a book that will quickly be made into a show, it was very well done!

10. Well Said: by Sarah Moliter

*****

I think every Christian Mom and wife should read this book! Words are something that can quickly get out of hand, for me especially, and this a really convincing book, and I think that her testimony will help so many people recognize this issue in their lives and begin to take steps to overcome it!

This were my favorite reads of 2023, I would love to hear about some of yours!

xx,

The Uncredited Parts of Being a Mom

I’ve been thinking about my role as a mom lately. I’ve been pretty overwhelmed and struggling a bit. It is easy to get lost in the shuffle, especially in this life with toddlers and babies. Everyone is sick for weeks on end, playdates are canceled, you don’t make it to church, your husband picks up the grocery order for the week- it’s been 2.5 since you spoke to another adult besides your spouse.

Add to that broken sleep, because baby is teething, and things can quickly spiral into overwhelm and exaustion. Its easy to get to the place where you wonder if you can do this for another day- and why am I doing this at all??

As a mom there are so many things you do everyday that go unnoticed and completly unappreciated. Chances are that your children will never notice that you wiped the refridgerator clean, or that you vacuumed the dust and dog hair up. Your kids will probably never say thank you for cleaning the bathroom, or folding all the laundry. They probably won’t express gratitude for all of the effort you put into meal planning, grocery shopping and cooking nutritious food.

The truth is that when you do all of those things every day – its normal. Kids don’t notice, because its what mom always does, everyday. And I think thats the point.

We aren’t doing all that we do as moms to be appreciated, or to hear “Thank-you” from our children. Ever if we never hear expressed gratitude from our children we will have done our job as mothers.

This is my job. Nurturing, training, providing a clean and safe home, food to nourish their bodies, all of these things are my responsibility as their mom (along with a host of others!) It’s not just my responsibility but also my privilege to get to raise these amazing beautiful children, who will grow up into adults who will go out and have their own beautiful lives and families. (Which is my ultimate goal as a mom, to raise my children to go out and be ready for their own lives and families!)

I’ve been mulling over this since July 4th, when I was thinking about fireworks, and the way my parents always made the holiday fun and special with fireworks… And that I never really thought to be thankful for that as a child- how they sacrificed and spent money on all those extra things, and all of the everyday things that my parents did to take care and provide for us. I definitely took a lot of that for granted when I was younger. It wasn’t until I became a parent that I really started to see all the things my parents did for us.

I guess this is all to say that while we can easily feel unappreciated and not seen as moms. But we don’t do our job as moms to be appreciated .

Even if we never hear gratitude expressed from our children for the things that we do every single day, we can can rest assured that with Gods strength and grace we will have done our best, and that He sees all that we are doing, and that’s what really matters. We can find satisfaction that we will give account for all that we do one day, and all of the little things that make up our whole lives right now will not be forgotten or unseen.

“For the eyes of the man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he pondereth all his goings.” Proverbs 5:21

Favorite Things // v. 3

1. Audio Books

I have read a ton over the past couple years, but lately I’ve been listening to audio books more than regular books, and it’s nice to be able to listen while I get other things done.

2. Wearable breast pumps.

This one is super specific, but where I’m at right now. I’m exclusivly pumping for Ollie, we just couldn’t get him to latch without much pain, and my husband and sister convinced me to buy the Willow Go pump, it’s without cords, and has a battery, and it’s been life changing. I can move around the house, pump in the car, jump up to wipe little bums, and am not tied to the couch for 4+ hours a day.

3. Bible 180 Challenge Journal by Hallie Leigning

It’s a Bible reading journal, to accompany her Read the Bible in 180 days Plan. It seemed a little overwhelming at first, to read the whole Bible in just 6 months, but I’m 19 days in, and finding it really manageable, and super interesting to read the Bible chronologically. The journal just makes in easy to jot down some takeaways and thoughts from the daily reading, and I think it will be super cool to look back at what I was learning/noticing throughout the whole Bible.

4. Doing my nails.

I haven’t kept up with doing my nails in months, but it’s always been something I enjoyed, helps me feel put together. I put on a sticker manicure this week, and it’s just made me feel elegant. I think I am going to give press on nails another try.

5. Super skinny, super high rise jeans.

I walked into Old Navy and the sales lady asked if I needed help, and I asked for the most high rise jeans she had. After lamenting to my sister that I now need jeans that go up past my belly button, I have worn them out several times, and they are amazing. They stay put, don’t gape, and I’m not hiking them back up all day long.

6. Playing games with my kids.

They are just starting to be ready to play games, and we are having fun learning go fish and slap jack. Their attention spans last about 3 minutes, but we have a lot of fun!

7. Less toys.

We are moving soon, so I’m slowly packing, and this week I packed up half the kids toys, and it’s been a game changer. There is far less clutter scattered across the house, and the kids don’t seem to even miss them. I think we will downsize, and set up a toy rotation system to help us keep less toys on the floor!

8. Batching food for lunch.

I made a huge batch of quinoa and egg rolls in a bowl on Monday, and it’s been so nice to have it to grab every day. Would love suggestions for other batch meal ideas!

9. Flannel shirts.

I’ve been influenced by my little sisters styles, and I am loving flannel with leggings and with jeans. It looks cute, and is super practical for pumping!

What are some things you’ve been loving lately?

Love,

Becca

When Life is Overwhelming

I’m trying to catch up.

Always behind. Always something to do. Check. Next. Check. Next.

Didn’t get that done. Do it tomorrow.

Should have got it done anyway. Don’t have time.

All I want is to clean the kitchen. But someone has needed me every time I’ve tried to start.

Stressing. Anxious thoughts. Grumpy. Cluttered.

I’m choosing to take a deep breath and step back. Recognizing the season of life I am in. Postpartum, newborn, pumping, toddlers. It’s a lot going on in our house all at once. I’m feeling behind and stressed about housework and getting dinner cooked at a reasonable hour. And I’m struggling with feeling like I’m a bad mom because there is always a pile of laundry waiting for me now, and perpetual dishes in the sink. I’m overwhelmed with the clutter, but also realizing that it’s just toys on the floor, scattered by happy toddlers playing with each other.

This transition from two to three kids has been a lot harder than I anticipated. Hard doesn’t equal bad, and we don’t regret having another baby at all, but it has not been the smooth transition we experienced with the birth of one second child. (Even though the months after that were also tough with PPA.) Our toddlers are go-go-go from the moment they awaken, and I often feel touched out by 8:00am.

This is a work in progress, learning to be a mom of toddlers, while also moving with the pace of a newborns needs.

I’m trying to set some new daily rhythms, figuring out our new schedule, and how to fit the still important to us things, alongside the new important things, like naps and pumping for Ollie.

Some things that are really helping during this overwhelming season are.

1. A clear morning routine. I follow a ritual of journal, Bible reading and writing a to-do and grateful list every single morning and it is very grounding to start the day off this way.

2. Nap time is sacred. We are unavailable from 12:30-2:30 every single day. The kids will be sleeping, and I will be sitting on the couch holding my sleeping baby for at least 45 minutes. I love contact naps, and this is the only time in the day for a few minutes to sit completely still and be calm. I’m giving myself permission to ignore the laundry and dishes for that time while I just hold Ollie.

3. Taking my supplements and getting outside. These two practices have made such a tremendous difference in my life, and they will forever be a priority.)

4. Less screen time. We got through the immediate postpartum healing phase with lots of screens. I was so thankful for that option so that my body could heal, and I could figure out pumping, and now we are working on finding ways to get through the day without needing the screens. It’s taking some times to detox, particularly for the 4 year old. But it’s good for us.

We are moving in just a few weeks, so I think that has also been adding to my overwhelming feelings, but I’m also looking forward to the process of gong through things and simplifying even more.

I am so grateful for the last couple years. I have had to learn a lot about simplicity, and living with less, (our apartment is tiny!) and being comfortable with making changes to adapt to our needs.

What are some things you’re learning or working on this year?

Love

Becca

To Be Here

I love January 1st and the opportunity to do some reflecting o goals and hopes for the new year. I think it’s a good time to reflect on the past year, to see and celebrate everything that was accomplished, and worked through, and also a great opportunity to see areas for improvement in the coming months.

I know lots of people choose to be super pessimistic about news goals and resolutions, and while I know they’re not for everybody, and certainly we certainly aren’t going to attain “a new year new me” with a couple breezy resolutions! But I think it’s a great idea to be intentional about seeing the areas in your life and relationships that could use some work, and making some clear goals to help work on those things.

I love making lists, so I made a 23 in 2023 list this year. Some of them are things I want to start implementing. Some are things we already do, but want to make sure we continue. I want to work on learning some things. There’s some things we’ve been talking about doing as a family, and it’s time to just do them already.

01. Read the Bible in a year

02. Start running again

03. Read 3 books to my kids daily

04. Relearn how to do my hair pretty

05. 1 line a day journal

06. Go on 6 dates with my husband

07. Have lunch with Scott once a month

08. Be a good friend

09. Play games with my kids

10. Go to the cheese factory

11. Spend 1000 hours outside.

12. Go to the beach

13. Take Liam fishing

14. Take the kids to the zoo

15. Less time on the phone

16. Plan playdates

17. Go outside every single day. Even if it’s just 5 minutes.

18. Do the Gentleness challange

19. Summer bucket list

20. Learn a new skill

21. Try 21 new recipes

22. Go on 22 hikes

23. Read 23 books

I also chose a word to help me focus on the main thing that’s been on my mind with looking forward to 2023. I want to be Here. To be present, right where I’m at, both physically and mentally. I’ve noticed how easily I can mentally check out, pop an earbud in and listen to audio books when I am overwhelmed, and I can check out in social situations I’m uncomfortable in. It’s easy to become busy with my kids and stop trying with other people.

So I want to be here. To be present. To put in the work with my children and other people around me, not using coping mechanisms when I am overwhelmed, but working through the things that cause that.

I would love to hear your goals or intentions for 2023! ❤️

Love

Becca

Best Books of 2022

Picture of my kiddos reading! I am thrilled that they seem to love reading books as much as I do! Hoping that continues as they learn to read! ❤️

I have loved to read since I was a very small child, (I have vivid memories of hiding a flashlight and huddling under the blankets late into the night reading!) and I am thankful that that has continued into my adult life/mamahood.

This year I read more than I have since I was a teenager. My kids settled into a amazing routine earlier in the year, napping at the same time, and I ended up with a solid hour to read in the afternoon. And I finally came to terms with audio books, and felt line I can count them as reading, so I was able to add the time during my running to read.

I got the through 164 books, about half of them reading and half on audio, and while I won’t make you slog through all of those titles, I went through the list and picked the ones that stood out to me particularly as favorites from this year!

A man called Ove– by Fredrick Backman

I loved this book. Ove is a older man with literally nothing to live for anymore. The book jumps back and forth from the present, where Ove just wants to die, and his pesky neighbors keep interfering with their constant problems, and glimpses into Ove’s past. I know the premise of the story is odd, a man just trying to die, but it ended up perfectly. I made my husband watch the movie with me and he loved it too. We are excited about the new adaption coming out in just a couple weeks starring Tom Hanks!

The Astronots Wife– by Stacey Morgan

This was such a interesting memoir exploring the authors life while her husband was away in space for 9 months. I really enjoyed her story, and her wisdom about the things she learned in a difficult season.

The Invisible Husband of Frick Island– by Colleen Oakley

The ending was hilarious. The whole book was an interesting mystery, a compulsive read. I wanted to know what happened, and by the time I got to the end, it was nothing like what I thought, which is always a fun surprise!

The Diamond Eye– by Kate Quinn

I loved her first book, the Rose Code, and this second one didn’t disappoint! It follows the story of Mila Pavlochenko, Lady Death, one of 2000 women snipers in the Soviet Army. She was credited with 309 kills, and eventually came to the US as a spokesperson, becoming friends with Eleanor Roosevelt. It was a facinatings story, and very well written.

M is for Mama by Abby Halberstadt

This was a really encouraging book for moms, and I would highly recommend. I am planning to read it again in 2023.

The Cartographers by Peng Shepherd

This book probably isn’t for everyone, but I love stories about other worlds/dimensions within our world, with a touch of magic and fantasy, but with lots of realism, and this book checked all those boxes. It was a interesting story, a compelling mystery and I really enjoyed!

Cultish by Amanda Montell

This book was facinating. I read it really fast I needed to get it back to the library, and I want to get it again to read a little more slowly. She explores the language behind cults, from famous cults like Jonestown, to MLMs like Lularoe, to soul cycle, it was facinating to see the similarities between the way they use language and words to draw people in and keep them hooked in the craziness that is cults.

It’s interesting because we all assume we wouldn’t fall prey to the woo of a cult, but Ms Montell examines the way that leadership is able to resonate with people with the compelling phrases and idioms, and explores the similarities between religious cults, and workout fanatics who take over peoples lives.

I found it fascinating and have continued to think about it.

Taste: my life through food by Stanley Tucci

I loved this book so much! I really love good food memoirs, books about chefs, or home cooks, descriptions about food. All of it. Stanley Tucci’s book about the food in his life, and growing up in a Italian family was delightful! I am also enjoying his show about Italian cuisine on Discovery+.

I would love to hear about some of your favorite reads from the year!

With love,

-Becca

On Skipping Grocery Pick-up

I love to listen to podcasts and audio books. I’m a young mom, and don’t have a lot of friends or social outlets at this point in my life, so I tend to listen to something audio when I need a break from the being-home-alone-with-toddlers-24-7 overwhelm.

I like mom podcasts, and enjoy learning about parenting. Being a mom is hard, and it’s helpful to find resources to work through issues we’re facing with our kids.

So last week I turned on an episode and the ladies commented about how hard shopping is with young kids, and how lucky they are to live in an era of grocery pickup, because they don’t have to live through the struggle with toddlers that their moms did.

Oof. First of all, shopping with toddlers is so hard. I am extremely thankful that pickup orders are possible, it’s so convenient to drive up, pop the trunk and drive home.

BUT. I think avoiding social situations like shopping with young kids is doing them (and yourself) a big disservice. Every outing is a training opportunity and avoiding the hard situations means that your child isn’t going to learn how they are expected to behave in a store, restaurant, or place of business. Instead of learning early, it’s going to be impossible to run errands or shop as they get bigger/louder, because they just didn’t learn how to behave in a social setting. (And the tantrums will get bigger if they’re not addressed and worked through as toddlers.)

All of this is to say:

1. Don’t be afraid to take your kids with you, even when you know it’ll be hard. The work will pay off later when your kiddos are able to be respectful in businesses, and have FUN learning life skills with you! (And don’t worry, shopping is stressful for me too right now, I’m right there with you, there is a 100% chance that either Tori or I will cry in the store or the car on the way home. )

2. Let’s give lots of grace to the mamas in the store/restaurant/church who are dealing with those toddlers meltdown. She’s made the decision to push through the hard and embarrassment of meltdowns and tears to help her kiddo learn how to navigate social situations, and snarky comments/judgmental stares and unsoliced advice are not helpful or edifying in anyway! In fact, having someone tell me “you’re doing great,” or “keep it up, it gets easier!” Is literally something that will brighten my entire day!

Keep it up mama!

Love, Becca

8 ways to chase away the Monday blues

From a few days ago-not a Monday! 😂

It has been the most stereotypical Monday morning.

My 3 year old peed his bed. My 18 month old had a horrible poop explosion. I spilled my coffee all over our couch. It’s pouring rain. The world is going crazy with awful, unimaginable things. I woke up in a panic from a nightmare at 5am. Liam has run into the bedroom and slammed the door announcing “me grumpy!” Twice.

We’ve just been bombarded by things all morning, and it’s not even 8:30am! It’s tempting to just give up and have a lazy, movie marathon day. Or, we can take a little while to reset our day, and try to reclaim the day.

The “ducky pond” we love near our house that’s normally little has completely flooded the surrounding area in the last 24 hours. We’ve gotten a lot of rain!

These are some of my favorite ways to do that:

-get outside. Spend some time in the sun. If it’s raining, get outside anyway! Fresh air (and a change of scenery) is amazing for resetting moods!

-drink a extra cup of coffee or tea. This is very calming to me, and actually sitting down to enjoy a hot beverage is relaxing!

-read your Bible. I’m catching up on my chapters from Numbers that I missed this weekend.

-Watch the rain from the window. It’s oddly calming to watch the rain drops roll down the window.

-Get some exercise. This is so important and a great way to start the day over! Get those endorphins and the blood pumping through your body!

-Journal a prayer and/or some things your grateful for.

– Read a book for 20 minutes! (Leave a comment and let me know if you want a suggestion! )

-Call or text a friend. It could be something simple. “I was thinking about you!” Or something more involved like getting together. It’s about taking the focus off of you and your bad day, and brightening someone else’s!

We are headed out for a run (in the rain!) in a few minutes, and then we are going to work on doing some of these to help continue to reset our day!

Love,

Becca

Letting Kids Play

I love taking my kiddos to the park. I love the excitement, the time outside and watching them explore and discover their new abilities .

I am that mom at the park who hovers. Not full helicoptering, but always close enough to catch one of them if I need to. It’s nerve-racking as a parent to watch your kids run around on equipment up in the air, and hurtle themselves down slides and over bridges.

But I’ve become fully convinced that I have to let my kids play. I have to let them test their abilities, and see what they can do. It’s exhilarating for both of us when they do something hard, and then accomplish it! When their little faces light up, and a giggle bubbles out of them from pure joy!

It’s good for kids to learn how to do things for themselves, and how to push through even when it’s hard.

Obviously, this is within reason, especially as my children are toddlers, but I’ve been so surprised how much more they really can do, when I’m not always stopping or redirecting them.

Today Liam was riding his bike home from the park. We got to a small hill, and he got a little m nervous, afraid that he’d fly down the other side. We encouraged him to take it slow, and use his feet to keep himself stable. He easily made it down, as we knew he would. And I wish I had caught his little delighted giggle on camera! He was so proud and excited to do something like that in his own! Makes the moments of anxiety worth it, seeing my kiddos proud of their little accomplishments!

5 things I’ve Learned About Smaller Living

We have been living in small spaces for about 2.5 years now. We started out by living in an RV for about 6 months, which we really loved. It was so different learning to live with 1/4 of the stuff we had in our former apartment. But it ended up sparking a new mindset for me, and I am so grateful we’ve had the opportunity learn to live with less. It’s been life changing in many ways!

After 6 months, we needed to move out of the RV, and had a very quick timeline. We found a small local apartment, and moved it! (It’s about 450 Sq feet.) It’s not been without challanges, (there is no oven, so we learned to cook everything in our smoker and other kitchen appliances.) but the way my mindset has changed towards things, and what we really need, has been huge, and I wouldn’t give that up for the biggest house in the world.

1. Kids don’t need as many toys as you’d think.

We have had to keep toys at a minimum, due to lack of space at first, but then because we saw that our littles were more than content with the intentional toys we brought into our home. We’ve also seen them become more creative, and using their imaginations with other things from around the house. We prioritize books, and toys that encourage imaginative play, (instead of electronic toys that sing for example!).

2. If you actually need it, you’ll find space for it.

There have been some things that we thought we needed, and then realized once we’d moved it around multiple times, that if we can’t find a place for it, we don’t truly need it.

3. To be intentional about what we bring into our home.

This was a huge one for me, and I am so thankful to be learning this early in our marriage! With minimal space, and a place for everything, I have to be 100% sure we need something, and that we know where it will go before we buy it! This means that I do lots of research, and think about purchases a while before buying anything, which also has helped us save money.

4. Minimal doesn’t have to mean boring and stark.

I was just looking through pictures from when we first moved in, and it’s amazing how different our apartment looks now. We’ve slowly added little touches and enough decor to make it feel homey and hygge, but not cluttered or overwhelming. It’s a fine line, and means I am always straightening up, because there is no closets or drawers to throw random junk in.

5. Declutter daily

This doesn’t have to be huge or whole closet makeovers. This is just getting rid of the daily clutter, putting stuff back in its designated place, and making sure that things that shouldn’t be in the house are gone. (Garbage, broken things you could fix, but won’t, things that are no longer practical, etc.) It makes a big difference in my mental load to have the visual clutter calmed.

What are some things you’ve learned through through your home or current living situation?

With love,

Becca